that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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