I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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