Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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