He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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