Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
