I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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