you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
