I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
