if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
