Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
