i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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