i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
