oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
