I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
