Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
