he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
