Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
