i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
