I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
