Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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