Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
