have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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