Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was CRYING into my vagina
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
