Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
