you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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