You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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