Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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