she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
