I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize