am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
