Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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