Pants 0. Shit 1.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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