I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
even my farts smell like vagina
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
