The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
