I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize