the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
