Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
