is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
