just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
