there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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