WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
