Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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