glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Randomize
