no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
