Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
