You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm eating all of the evidence.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
