He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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