Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How naked do you want me to be?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
