Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
