I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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