Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
