....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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