reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
