what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize