hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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