She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
