I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
