I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
