Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
