is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
