he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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