My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
