You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
