Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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