farters have to be the big spoon...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
