i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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